Oct. 31- The Finish LIne

I crossed the finish line tonight both with my first ever 5k race and with my month of challenges...yeah me! It was such a good feeling tonight after the race was over. I was very anxious all day long worrying that I would fall, throw my knee out, or collapse. But none of those things happened and I did finish. I've never been a runner so starting at age 50 has been by far my biggest challenge, but also my most rewarding in so many ways. As for the other challenges this month, some were hard for me and I don't think I'll do them again (drive over the sunshine skyway brige) and some were simple and fun and I'm glad that I learned them. My favorite new thing is to text because it's pretty easy and kind of fun. It's perfect for those times when you just want to say something quick without making a big deal out of it. As for Facebook, it's probably going to take a backseat for me. It's too time consuming to do everyday so maybe I'll catch up every week or so.

I did much better than I had expected with the race as my adrenaline and slight competitiveness were running high. I really thought it might take me an hour since my knee has been really painful this past week but I ended up coming in second place in my division (that's the little plaque I'm holding) with a time of 40min. Maybe I'll make it a tradtion to run every Halloween. A big thank you to Tom for being my cheerleader and my photographer during the race. He would pop up at different places along the route to cheer me on. He's also been very supportive of my quest this month even though I've been spending more time on this computer than with him in the evenings. You're the best Sweetie :)

For all of my faithful followers a big thank you for caring enough about me to tune in daily and read my blog. It's been fun for the most part but I have to say, it's been a long month and I'm kind of glad it's over. I'd like to challenge all of you to do something every day that scares you just a little (boo!) because that's what keeps us all young at heart. Happy Halloween to my family and friends...you're the best!

Oct 30- The neighborhood Halloween Party

We got the invitation about 3 weeks ago and I thought to myself that this would be an excellent challenge. I've not had much of a chance to meet our neighbors so the idea of meeting them for the first time, all at once, while dressed in costume, sounded like torture. So I made Tom RSVP that we would be there.

Last years Halloween Party was in Colorado with a group of my co-workers and that will more than likely be nothing like tonight's party. I can't pre-judge since I don't know a soul who'll be there, but from my casual observations I'd say that the crowd was going to be middle aged and ready for bed by 10pm. I was half right, they were all between 40 and 50 with teenage or college age children, but they were not ready for bed when we left at 11pm. Some were heading to other parties and others were going to a local brew pub for a costume contest. What's wrong with us...we couldn't get home fast enough to get to bed.

We kept getting introduced to everyone like this, "have you met Colorado yet?, they're actually normal". So finally I had to ask and was told that everyone else who has moved onto our street has not been normal. For the next 2 hours I heard about every freak, drug addict, jail bird, womanizing neighbor who is apparently living just a few houses from us. How have I missed all of this gossip living and breathing around me? Why is this the first time I've heard about our semi crazy neighbors who share a street with us?

Oh, and everyone else is from Buffalo. I guess you move to Tampa from Buffalo because it's a huge upgrade but if you move from Colorado there must be something wrong with you. We were asked that too. All in all I did feel like we met some very fun and interesting people even if they were from Buffalo. Neighborhood gossip is part of the fun of living in burbs, right? I'm just a little more paranoid now about "Jimmy" who is due of out prison anyday now and has been known to pick fights with the woman in the neighborhood. Where have I moved to? I know it's Florida but it's still the USA, right? So bizarre.

Oct. 29- Cooking Challenge

I don't cook. I bake, but I don't cook. I hate it actually and it really intimidates me to have to cook for other people. I even hate the grocery store because it overwhelms me with all the choices today...seriously how many different kinds of canned tomatoes do we need? I get so distracted at the store that I usually end up leaving with very strange combinations of things and nothing to really make a meal out of. Lucky for me Tom cooks and he's quite good at it. He even likes to go to the store which is why he's really my night in shining armor.

It's my turn to bring in breakfast for the morning crew at work tomorrow which is about 10-12 people. I would normally run to Panera and grab a coffee cake and some fruit and call it done. But since I'm trying to force myself to do new things this month I must try making a real recipe from scratch. I didn't want anything too hard so I searched for a recipe on the Food Network and found a breakfast casserole from Emeril Lagrasse. I had none of the ingredients so my first step was to make myself go to the store. UGH! It took forever because of course tonight is the night when all good parents are running to the store for those last minue Halloween treats for the school party tomorrow. Long, long lines at the check outs almost had me backing out of this challenge, but I stayed on task and made it through.

The recipe called for cooked sausage and I don't ever touch or cook meat because If I have to watch it cooking, I can't eat it. So I cheated a little and asked Tom to do this part for me. I did do the rest though...cracked the eggs, shredded the cheese, chopped the green onion and sliced the bread. I assembled it all in a large casserole pan and placed it in the fridge for overnight. Tomorrow when I get up I'll bake it and take it to work. I don't know yet if it's going to be edible but I did my best. My co-workers are expecting Panera so I hope I don't disappoint. Maybe I can step up to a dinner party next...nah, probably not.

Oct 28-For my friends in Colorado

I don’t normally allow myself to be goaded into anything, but when I was back visiting my friends in Colorado a few weeks ago they gave me a hard time about something. After a lot of thinking and pondering the situation, I took it to heart and decided that they were right. I did need to throw caution to the wind and allow myself a little raunchiness in the privacy of my own home. So, for all of my fellow Crate Crazies who thought I was nuts for not having done this sooner…this is for you. I’m about to strip down to nothing, turn off all lights out by my pool and very, very quietly slip into the dark water. Yes, I’m going to go skinny dipping in my own backyard! Yikes! O.K…wish me luck, here I go!

I got out of my clothes, put on a robe, turned out every possible light source coming from the house, and slid outside and sat next to the pool with my legs dangling in. I noticed that it wasn't as dark as I had hoped because the night was clear and the moon was bright. It shone like a big bright beakon on our pool. Geez, give me a break! "Whoo, whoo, 50 year old naked lady about to get into her pool...everyone stop what they're doing and look" was what the moon was saying. I didn't let it stop me though.... I DID IT!! I threw off my robe and carefully slid into the slightly cold water and swam from one end of the pool to the other. It was awesome and invigorating and the most liberating thing I've done in years. But, it was chilly so I got out quick. I did it and that's all that matters.

Let me just say that I’ve only done this one other time in my life and I was much, much younger and slightly intoxicated. I still feel guilty about the fence damage we did in order to enter the neighborhood pool after hours, but boy what a memory! Those of you who are reading this and were a part of that night as well, we need to make a pact to let go more often and enjoy the little things in life…like skinny dipping! It’s good for the soul!

Oct.27-Exploring new territory

Today was my day off from work so I decided to make myself drive around in new parts of the city that I hadn't been in before. Since we still haven't found the perfect neighborhood to call home, I picked out two more to check out. The first one I went to was in the very southern part of the St. Pete's Beach area called Pass-A-Grille. I had heard that it felt like a small town and all the houses were walkable to the beach. I couldn't find any houses online that were within our price range which should have been a clue for me...but it wasn't. I went anyway and spent 50 min. just getting there.

It was a super quaint beach town with a few cute boutiques which I milled around in for a bit. There were a smattering of restaurants that were all mom and pop looking. The beach was peaking out from behind the tall grassy oats which helped give the town that old fashioned feel and there were no high rise hotels or condos. I'm not sure how much the houses were selling for but from what I could guess, not in our price range. I'm pretty sure that it would take at least 1/2 million to get anything decent. Yikes!!

So, moving on, I landed in another "quaint bay town" called Gulfport. In order to get to Gulfport you have to drive through several blocks of very run down neighborhoods and strip malls that were all about the pawn shop, cashing your check before you get paid and wiring money to other countries. Not really want I want to drive past on my way to and from work everyday. I should have known better and cut my loses before venturing any further into the abyss, but I persevered. Surely there's one town in Tampa that we could feel a kinship with. When I finally made it to Gulfport I was slightly surprised in the cute little town that finally appeared. There were a few blocks of boutique shops and restaurants along the edge of the bay. The signs hanging up said they had friday night art walks which sounded like fun. Realistically, there were obviously no neighborhood rules because about a 1/3 of the houses were decent and you could tell the owners took pride in their town but the rest were looking neglected to the point of looking abandoned. Probably not going to invest our money in that town either.

I did my due diligence and made the effort to scout out other areas of Tampa. I will go back to Pass-A-Grille to spend time at the beach and maybe do the shops again. I might do the artwalk at Gulfport too, but neither will be our hometown. I must keep looking.

Oct.26- No rita tonight

Tonight was mexican food night at the Shirkey/Porterfield house. I enjoy eating mexican food mostly because of all the melted cheese but I also enjoy it because it's usually being consumed alongside a refreshing margarita. But tonight, I challenged myself to have my usual cheese and tomato quesadilla with a side of chips and salsa and instead of sipping on the always easy to drink lime margarita, I forced myself to be content with water. Yes, boring ol' lukewarm water. The reason it was lukewarm is that we've been without a fridge since last friday when we came home from work to find ours leaking all over the kitchen floor. We did get a replacement delivered tonight, but the ice is not usable until it runs through a days worth of cycles. So, it was mexican food with a glass of lukewarm water to wash it down with. Yummo!

I gave myself this challenge because I am trying to get myself back in shape this month and we all know that one tiny margarita is adding a lot of excess calories to your meal. I don't know if this is true, because I've never really wanted to know the truth, but someone once told me that one margarita had about 600 calories...amazing! Isn't that about the same as a big slice of chocolate cake? Why would I ever pick the margarita when I could have chocolate cake?

So, I'm trying to be really good and limit myself to just a few indulgences of the tequilla kind from time to time. And, just because I'm having mexican food doesn't mean that I have to pair it with my favorite relaxation beverage. Even had I allowed myself to have the margarita tonight, it would have been sans ice anyway and how refreshing is that? Challenge accomplished!

Oct. 25th-Full exposure

I intentionally put this challenge off until later in the month hoping that my new daily work outs would make it more bearable...or rather, bare-able. Today I challenged myself to stand fully naked in front of a mirror for a solid 5 minutes without turning away or rolling my eyes. I wanted to do this because for the last few years I've had the hardest time getting used to how many changes have occurred to my physical appearance. The sagging, stretched out skin with the lumps and bumps in all the wrong places has been quite frightening.

This was going to be one of the hardest challenges I'm asking myself to do. I try really hard not to catch a glimpse of myself after getting out of the shower for fear I'll be horrified. As a pretty modest person I don't spend a lot of time walking around naked...I actually never do. But I've come to the realization that my body is only going to get worse so if I can't embrace it now how will I ever be able to?

So I did try my best today but I only lasted 3 minutes instead of the 5 I wanted to do and I did start doing leg lifts and squats to try and tighten things up while I stood there. I didn't roll my eyes at myself, but it was a tiny bit pitiful. Why don't I feel any different inside than I did when I was a teenager, but on the outside it's a whole different story? Mom always said that your mind might still be acting and thinking like you're 21 but your body is constantly evolving into someone else. Then one day you wake up and you're 70 and when you look in the mirror you can't really find yourself in the image at all.

I guess the best approach is to either throw away all of our mirrors and just focus on the person inside...or, age gracefully and accept that what's inside is much more important than what's outside anyway so why let it get the best of you.

Oct. 24-Learning a new program

My job as a retail manager requires me to work on a fairly complicated Excel spreadsheet. It's already been pre-formatted so I usually just have to go in and make my changes or additions each week then save and close. But occasionally I do need to hide rows or re-format columns that lose their formulas...probably something funky I did to it. Anyway, I don't know a thing about how to do that so I end up having to track down my boss and get her to do it. She doesn't mind, but I do.

Tonight while Tom is away at a hockey game with a buddy, I thought it would be the perfect quiet night for me to teach myself all there is to know about Excel. Except that it's a very boring program and I don't like working with numbers, charts and formulas. I was a Mac girl in my former life and knew a few design programs all of which were very visual. Fun, exploding graphics in bright colors can keep my attention, but numbers and cells don't. I avoided getting started until 8:45 at which point I knew it was now or never. Thinking about my boss who is 20 years younger and can fix my screw ups with a few quick movements on the keyboard, finally got me motivated.

I put on a tutorial and tried to follow along but 45 min. later I knew that I was done. This was so painfully boring to try and learn that I finally just stopped. I did pick up a few tricks that I know will be useful. I'm one of those people that has to do something over and over to learn it, so I just need to give myself more time on the job before I can be an Excel expert...but for now, I need to just not be an Excel idiot. I wonder if I learned enough tonight to fake my way through or did I learn just enough to make me even more dangerous?

Oct. 23-embracing seafood in Florida

I was raised in the midwest where the only seafood I ever ate growing up was a small amount of tuna fish in a sandwich that was more mayonaise than tuna and the occasional fish stick. So once I was grown and on my own I realized that I had never tasted actual seafood so I was convinced that I hated it.

When I moved to Florida 6 months ago, I've been taking a ration of crap from my new Florida friends about why I don't eat seafood. I'm not allergic, so why would I not at least try it? I keep blaming it on the smell that makes me want to hurl just by walking into a seafood restaurant.

So, I decided to challenge myself to a night of dining out at a seafood restaurant. We had reservations for dinner at 8:00 at a local franchise place that seemed safe and probably a good option for me. I checked out their menu online and I figured I would order a white fish that was flaky and light and probaby wouldn't taste much like seafood. The place was packed out as they must have a good happy hour. We arrived at 7:45 but by 8:30 we still didn't have a table. Tom went to check and they had been trying to find us (so they said) but they couldn't. They ended up feeling so bad about the delay that they offered a free appetized on them. Hmmm...that sounded like a great way to test the waters without wasting my meal and our money on something I might get sick on. So we ordered the crab cake appetizer on the house. They came out and were pleasantly surprising...didn't look or smell like fish. The restaurant was dark so I just went for it. I had my first bite. It was a lot of bread crumbs and lemon flavoring with a small amount of crab. It tasted fine so I took another bite. Kind of yummy actually. I kept on taking bites between gulps of red wine....which helped a lot. I finally finished and ended up eating more than one crab cake all by myself...I felt a sense of accomplishment. It wasn't the main course, but it was crab and I did eat a lot of it.

My main meal was a cobb salad with huge chunks of bleu cheese and it took a lot of bites along with another glass of wine to wash down the taste of crab in my mouth. I'm not sure it's something that I will order again or pay for myself, but I did it. Should I find myself out at a restaurant or friend's house and they serve me crab cakes I could probably eat them again...provided they also give me a large glass of wine.

Oct. 22- technical woes

I thought it would be a good idea to change my email account from hotmail to gmail. I've heard that it's the best and I have to admit, the idea of all the junk mail dropping off sounded good. So tonight I gave it a try and so far...not so good. Setting up the initial account went all smooth and fine, but working in it was not all that user friendly from my perspective. I do tend to get distracted easy, so it was partially my own fault that it was taking me so much time.

What happens is that you set up this new email account, then it takes all of the emails from your old one and transports them into your new one. As they were popping into the new gmail account, I noticed some that I must have missed and never read. One of them was from a friend from Colorado and the display text read, " Sweet...your booty looks awesome on that video on Facebook Karen". Obviously I had to open this email and then try to go to the link to my supposedly awesome video of my booty. Oops...really bad move!! It was a decoy to get me to launch some automatic security program which of course asked for immediate payment as well. It was a continuous circle of pop up windows that kept appearing everytime I would try to close them down. I finally had to shut down the entire computer and re-boot it to keep from buying the supposedly necessary hardware protection.

These are the things that keep me from trying new programs. It was annoying and frustrating and will keep me from ever opening anything again that has a tag line about my booty. I really don't go around having video shot of my booty so why I was tempted by this eludes me. But live and learn when it comes to the computer. It's a scary piece of technology.

Oct 21-Can I deal with the neighbor kids?

When we moved to Tampa last April we rented a home instead of buying until we knew the city well enough to decide where we fit in best. We've been exploring all different areas and spending more time in the parts that we feel a strong connection with. The thing is, there isn't one area of the city that's jumped out yet as our favorite. The one that makes us feel warm and fuzzy and included.

So, we've started to think that maybe the house we're renting is good enough. We do love the house because it's the perfect size, layout, yard, pool, kitchen, bedrooms and distance from our jobs. There's only one small thing about it that's keeping me from purchasing it...the horrible neighbor kids. Seriously, they have screeches so loud pitched that they could break every piece of stemware in my Crate and Barrel store. It sounds like someone is being tortured and burned at the stake every time they are outside playing in their lanai. This family desperately needs an intervention with Super Nanny.

Since we've started to grow fond of the house I decided that tonight I would come home from work and challenge myself to stay outside enjoying our beautiful pool and lanai even if the kids came out and started their nightly screams. I was outside for only about 10min. when it started and immediately it was so painful to listen to that I almost came inside. I seriously considered calling 911 because surely tonight someone was really being burned at the stake. How could such small children produce such horrific sounds if they were just playing and having fun? Is that even possible? I stood by our screen looking over there looking for smoke or the silhouette of an ax coming down on someone's arm. All I saw was 3 children riding those small powered cars around in circles, apparently scaring the bejesus out of each other.

I know I've always had a much lower tolerance for misbehaved children than most people and since the onset of menopause it's gotten worse. I think just knowing that we don't actually own the house and that if we wanted to move we could, makes it bearable. I'm afraid that buying this house would only infuriate me more and I might eventually make that 911 call. So we'll keep looking and exploring other options for our permanent home in Tampa but in meantime I might have to call Super Nanny.

Oct 20- Leave work on time

This is a huge challenge for me ever since I became an empty nester. Since I no longer have to hurry home to my kid I don't feel like I have a good enough excuse to leave work on time. I'm really not a workaholic, it's just that my job seems to take longer than 8 hours a day. If I don't stay late then I'm just working twice as hard and stay even later the next day.

So while I was away on vacation I told myself that I would make myself leave work on time. I even told a co-worker of mine today and she promised to drag me out with her at 5:30 sharp...no excuses today. Being that I've been out of the office for the last 5 days I knew this would be a little tricky for me so I tried to stay focused to get a lot done. But I was helping to train 5 new employees today and everyone wanted to catch up with me on what's been going on in their lives while I was gone. I tried to keep working, but I admit it, I care too much to tell my friends that I don't have time to listen.

So instead of getting my tasks done I heard about a new pregnancy, someone's financial woes, an injustice on the sales floor and a 2 year olds birthday party. Just when my co-worker came by to grab me so we could leave together, we had an unhappy customer explode in the middle of the sales floor. As the only manager left in the store I had to spend the next 45 minutes taking care of getting him what he wanted. It's so sad that he thought our inability to get him 2 metal chairs right this minute could make him angry enough to be completely enraged. Whose life is so screwed up that not getting two metal chairs would cause you to flip out? Really? So sad.

So, I didn't do so well with today's challenge as I didn't get to leave until about 6:20. I'm really hopeful for tomorrow because it's going to continue to be my challenge everyday. Becoming an empty nester doesn't mean you spend more time at work, it means that you should spend more time on yourself. Otherwise, how will I have time to play tennis or blog or run or text?

Oct 19- wake up call

No, this isn't a euphemism for something else...I really needed a wake up call this morning in my hotel room. I had an early flight out of Denver this morning and didn't pack my own alarm clock and the staff at the hotel I was in didn't leave me with a sense of trustworthyness so I didn't ask for a wake up call. I contemplated the clock radio/alarm clock on the nightstand, but it was looking a little shabby and I didn't trust myself to be able to set it right. And then I had an ahha moment...I could use my cell phone to set an alarm!

After at least 15min. of searching under every icon and scrolling down and back out and then down again I finally discovered the alarm setting hidden under some very random button. I set the time for 6am and crawled into bed for the night. I then spent the next 7 hours worried that I did it wrong, that it wouldn't ring loud enough, that I should have never tried it for the first time on a night where I had to catch a flight. Needless to say, I got no sleep last night. I kept waking up and looking at the bedside clock to make sure I didn't sleep through the alarm. I finally gave up at 5:45 and got into the shower. Just as I was getting out, the alarm went off. I guess I did manage to do it right. I'll definately try it again. Except, I don't remember where the alarm button is hidden on my phone. No seriously, I just tried again and spent another 10min. trying to find that damn icon and can't for the life of me remember where it is. UGHHHHH! I hate it when I have to get out the users manual.

fear of disappointing Chelsey

I think I've lived in fear ever since my darling little baby girl arrived that eventually I would disappoint her and I would hate myself for it. And yes, I am not perfect and the world did not revolve around her and I so life happens and you get disappointed...big deal, right?

We were lucky when she was in high school in that I had a great paying job and we had enough disposable income to be able to enjoy our trips where we would frivolously spend a lot of money at the mall. Now that she's in college (lots of moola to the school) and I've quit my great paying job to start over in another profession (lots less income) I can no longer afford the extravagant shopping of our past. So, the past two days of our shopping trip have been me trying to convince her that shopping at Nordstrom's Rack instead of Nordstrom's can be just as fun...right? And that the thrill of the hunt for a bargain might take a lot longer, but it keeps the money from slipping away faster.

I don't think she's been too disappointed (she did find some great buys) and she's sweet enough to never say anything to me. I know I created my own shopping monster from the past, but like I said, it was our way of bonding. We're definately having fun and still sharing stories about what's happening in our lives...I'll never be disappointed in myself as long as I make the time to spend one on one quality time with Chelsey.

Oct. 17- letting Chelsey take the lead

Chelsey and I have done a lot of mother/daughter trips over the years starting when she was about 13. Mostly shopping trips to different cities where I carefully planned out what malls we were going to visit based on what shops they had. We would get to the city and I would lead her around for the few days we were there squeezing in as much shopping as I thought we could handle both physically and financially. At the end of the day we would end up back at our hotel room where we would try on our new clothes and watch a movie before falling asleep. I loved those trips because it was such a great way for me to stay close to her.

Now that I live in Tampa and she's still in Colorado, I decided that we could do our mother/daughter shopping trip this year where she lives. And now that she's 21 and we're in her city, she's deciding what we're doing. She's picking our shopping places, restaurants and even the movie we watched in our room last night. I have to say, it's been interesting so far. We've had mexican two nights in a row (her favorite food), we spent 3 hours in one store, Forever 21 (also her favorite) and we watched a movie in the room last night that made me want to hide under the covers out of embarrassment. When she picked it she said, "this movie is hysterical mom". So, thinking we had a similar sense of humor, I agreed. 30 seconds into the movie I thought I must have just turned into my grandmother because I was squirming over the sexual content. It wasn't graphic, thank goodness for that, but the language and the descriptions just went on and on and on. I didn't think it would ever end. Geez, when did I turn into such a prude?

Two more days to go and hopefully we'll have Italian food one day (my favorite) or watch a non-sexual comedy like Caddyshack (my favorite but probably not hers). But if not, it's still wonderful to spend such dedicated quality time with Chelsey that it really doesn't matter what we do, where we eat or what movie we watch. It's all good!

Oct. 16- Unfamiliar equipment

I knew when I started this journey that I would have to figure out how to continue my blog from out of town without using my own computer because I made myself a promise to do it everyday and I had already planned this trip. So here I am staying in a no frills hotel in Fort Collins, Co that according to Expedia said it had a business center. Well, it's not very business-like because it backs up to the breakfast room, basically sitting in the lobby where you can hear every conversation going on at the front desk and in the breakfast room as well as on the TV. The computer is at least 10 years old and the keyboard constantly sticks (sorry for the misspelled words) But, surely I could figure this out, right?

I sometimes forget that your computer is smarter than you are. It remembers what sites you've been to and what ones you are trying to find by just typing in the first few letters. I rarely have to remember my signons, passwords or credit card info because all of that is stored as well. So, when I got started this morning I had a little frustration trying to recall information not stored in my personal memory because my computer did it for me. Another cup of coffee to shake out the cobwebs and I finally was up a running. I managed to check email, facebook, myfamily website, and work on my blog. I hope the more things I'm able to conquer this month the more my brain will start to function like my computer...without having to reboot.

Oct 15-New do

When I made my hair appointment a couple of weeks ago for the same day that I was traveling back to Denver to visit Chelsey and some good friends, my goal was to just get a trim. That's because most women know that you don't go for the drastic, "new do" the same day you're going to be visiting people who haven't seen you for awhile...just in case it goes bad. But for some crazy reason I decided I'd dare myself to go for it.

So I went in to the salon today to this gal that I've only seen once before. I really like her, but geez is she expensive. It's amazing the price of a decent cut and color these days. The older I get the crankier I get about it. I swear a stylist can make more money than some doctors...without the malpractice insurance to drag them down. But anyway, I asked my stylist to try a new haircut on me today and of course her response was, "let's go for it!". Hearing that almost made me back out, but this is the month for trying new things so after a slight hesitation I decided that it's just hair, right? That if she botches it up my daughter and friends will still enjoy seeing me, right?

We agreed right away on the length I wanted which was very important and she then went to town cutting and cutting and cutting. I don't know why this makes me so nervous but it does. When she was finished cutting and whirled my chair around so I could face the mirror, I felt much better...just the length we discussed. She did a great job and spent a lot of time styling and showing me how to keep it looking like it does today. I'm glad I went for it, but we'll see tomorrow when I'm the one doing the styling...

Oct 14-send a picture

I've been wanting to be able to casually whip out my cell phone, snap a pic of something cool I'm looking at and send it off to a friend with my text message. So since I've learned how to text and I've learned how to take a picture with my cell phone, today I'm going to try and put it all together in one message to my sister Cheryl. Now I just need to decide what kind of a message and photo to send her...hmmmm.

I went on my usual walk this morning and took my cell phone along to see if our resident alligator was lounging in the sun so I could snap a quick pic of him, but he was out swimming in the middle of the pond. I did see a huge blue herron standing across the pond, but he was too far away to get a shot of with my camera. So, the only thing that was going to be a worthy photo to send her was my bare legs dangling in our pool. The reason this is a worthy shot is because it's 90 degrees here today and in Kansas City where Cheryl lives it's a cold, drizzly 47. Kinda mean, I know, but what's the fun of living here if you can't rub it in from time to time. So I did it, took the photo with my camera and sent it along with a text that said, "sorry but I had to do it" knowing she would understand. I'm pretty positive if she lived here and I in KC she would have done the same thing. Cheryl, anytime you want to warm up just come on down to where the sun is hot, hot hot.

Oct 13- Blogs,walls and texts..oh my!

Now that I've kinda caught up with today's forms of social media, I have to tell you that It's a little overwhelming. I've been trying to keep up every single day with the influx of emails, texts, voice mail, messages on my facebook wall and this blogsite and it's a bit much for this old gal. I suppose if I used my commute time to text or leave vm messages it would save some time when I got home, but since I have to put on my reading glasses to text that just doesn't seem safe while driving. Seriously scares me. Don't know how the youngin's do it even without reading glasses.

I need to determine which forms of communication are going to work for me and which ones are too time consuming to carry on with. Learning all of them has opened up a whole new world, most of which has been good. Adding quick comments to friends and family on their facebook pages is a great way to stay in touch without it soaking up too much time. Let's face it, our lives are busy and complicated and staying close to your friends is hard enough in the same city or workplace, but out of town is nearly impossible. The internet has given us back those friends even if it's small doses and that's a good thing. So, I'll keep plugging along this month doing my best to use all of my newly discovered forms of communication until I decide which I want to keep in my life and which ones I won't miss if I let them fade away.

Oct 12- Afraid of the dark

I used to love to play outside after dark as a kid, always being the last one back inside for the night long after mom had called us home. The summer nights always held a little magic for me as I felt somewhat hidden from full view giving me the freedom to be a little more courageous. Unfortunately, those feelings left long ago and now I'm slightly afraid to be outside after dark unless I'm in my own yard.

Since I've challenged myself to the 5k race at the end of the month, I've been getting home from work and immediately going on a 30min. walk/run to prepare. Tonight I wasn't able to leave work until very late, then there was a wreck on the highway...of course. As I sat in traffic, I realized that I wouldn't make it home before the sun set and would have to do my run/walk in the dark...unless I bagged out tonight. NO, I will have to do it or I'll never be able to do my race.

So I finally made it home at 7:10 and immediately changed and went out the door before I could chicken out. There's one part of my course that's behind our development and it's nothing but thick groves of Cypress tress on both sides of the road. This part is about 1/3 of the way into my path so I knew I needed to get past there before it went completely dark on me. Running was my only option. I left the house and managed to run more tonight then I have yet, mostly because my goal was to get past the scary woods before it was pitch black out. I got there as the sun was fading fast and my daylight was almost gone. There was just enough for me to see the big bugs, tiny toads and various other nighttime creatures starting to stake their claim on the road. I ran faster and finally made it past the woods to the safe side of the neighborhood. Once past, I caught my breath and walked the next 1/3 of the way, ran some more and made it home way after dark. I conquered my fear of being outside after dark and I wasn't even in my own yard.

Oct 11-phone a friend

So today's challenge wasn't what I had planned out for the day, it just sort of landed in my lap. After a long day at work, taking on the retail world, I got in my car and checked my cell phone for missed calls. I noticed I had one from a dear friend that I left behind at my old job in Kansas City. I listened to her message and the news wasn't good. Several of our very close friends and coworkers had been given pink slips last week and she needed to talk to someone who understood. She was saved, but she's been left feeling the guilt that she must endure while still carrying on every monday-friday 9-5.

Before I called her back, I thought about how it could have just as easily have been me if I were still there. This is a huge fear of mine as it probably is for most people today in our crazy economy. Hearing the names of so many talented and loyal friends who did lose their jobs was even more scary to realize that during these times, it's not about who's the best employee but rather, who can grab the last chair after the music stops in the topsy turvy game of business. All you can hope for is that as you age, you can still contribute to an organization in a positive way and that you can find happiness and success somewhere that appreciates you for what you bring to work everyday. I faced this fear several years ago when I left this same company and started my career over without a safety net. I may not be bringing home the same paycheck, but I work for a company that I believe in and can only hope that they will continue to believe in me.

Oct 10- Try a new sport

If there's one thing that will stand in the way of getting yourself out there and trying new things it would be the fear of looking stupid in front of others when you try and fail. It's commonly called YOUR EGO and it's a good thing it starts to fade away after 50. The ego can stunt your growth in your 40's if you let it...and I think I did. I've kept from trying a whole host of new things simply because I thought someone would make fun of me or be shocked that I didn't already know it...like all the things I've done in the past week. Seriously should have done them before now, but didn't.

We live right across the street from the neighborhood tennis courts. I've never really played tennis before but it seemed like such a waste of a primo house location that I should try to learn. The problem is that the neighborhood kids who take lessons there appear to be tennis phenoms. I swear they are no more than 11 or 12 and they can serve a mean, powerful ball across the net that is quite frankly a little intimidating. But, I pushed that thought aside and went out this morning a purchased a shiney blue tennis racket from Walmart. Tom and I held our heads high while we batted the ball back and forth trying desperately to return each others' pittiful serves. I'm sure if were 10 years younger I would have been worried about the neighbors peaking out their windows this morning and getting a good laugh at us, but since I'm 50 the thought never crossed my mind. Yes, the ego is a good thing to lose.

Oct. 9-No dessert???

I've never been one to deny myself dessert but since I'm trying desperately to stay fit I think I'm going to have to lay off the chocolate for awhile. Naturally this makes me want it even more. Tonight, Tom and I went to this great neighborhood restaurant that is known for it's fabulous guacamole. They prepare it tableside and it's very fresh and delicious. We had just polished off the last smidgen of it when the family at the table next to us was delivered their also famous s'mores fondue. There were 10 picks with marshmallows on them sticking up around a flaming pot of chocolate. I could smell the rich chocolate from our table and couldn't stop starring over at them as they deliciously dipped their marshmallows into the warm, gooey melted chocolate and then popped them into their mouths. What a horrible time to give up dessert...NOT FAIR!!
So, I ordered another margarita and tried to forget about it. I'm still thinking about it. Gotta let it go. I must make a reservation there for next month. Until then, no more thinking about it. Really...no more!

Oct 8- cell phone features

I can't really remember how many years ago I finally broke down and got my first cell phone but trust me when I say it's been awhile. I'm sure it was when my daughter was a pre-teen and told me "everyone who is anyone has one mom" and I wasn't about to let her have one unless I had one too. So I caved in and bought both of us matching cell phones. She immediately knew all the features, downloaded a fun ringtone and stored all of her best friends' phone numbers before we even made it home from the mall. I, on the other hand, needed her help just to dial my first call out.

4 different phones later and I still was only using my cell phone to make calls...until this month. Obviously I've learned how to text and I've done it 4, maybe 5 times. Today I wanted to try a few more features just so I could feel like I'm getting my monies worth. I got my users manual out and tried to make heads or tails out of it. All of the navigation buttons had me going back to the same place over and over without getting to what I wanted. I finally had to call Tom over to help me read the extremely fine print on the "quick assist guide". Quick it wasn't and I didn't think it was doing a good job of assisting me either. All I wanted to try was to take a picture and store it. Sounds simple enough, but it took F O R E V E V E R ! After a lot of trial and error, we finally got it to work and I now get to see a picture of our dog Margot whenever he calls me...so sweet!

Oct. 7- My first 5k race

I knew my fitness challenge was going to need a little help keeping me on track so I signed up today for my first ever 5k race. The race is on Oct. 31st and will be a perfect ending to my month of challenges unless I chicken out... after all, it is on Halloween! The race is called the 5k HOB GOB'LN and takes place on the Pinella's Trail at 7pm just after dark in downtown Dunedin, FL. Now this would normally be the time that I would be handing out fun size chocolate candy to the neighbor kids and stuffng my own mouth between doorbell rings. So I'm forfeiting that in exchange for the race which in and of itself is another challenge for me.

In order for me to be ready and in shape to run this race I won't be able to talk myself out of my daily fitness routine. I must get up early everyday and do 20min. of pilates before work then after work I will be doing a 30min. walk/run combo to try and work myself up to being able to run the race...or at least most of it. This is a pretty big goal for me and I hope I can do it. I will have the support and advice of my boyfriend Tom who has run his share of races and will be a great inspiration. I'm sure gonna miss those fun size chocolate bars on Halloween though...I'm just sayin'!

Oct 6- staying fit

So yeah, sure, it's not that easy staying fit when you're over 50. I've never had to worry about it because I was just naturally on the thin side and I've never been a huge eater. But gone are my "two days of starving to get back to into my jeans" diet. It's way past that and I have to get it under control. My arms have gotten jiggly and my tummy hasn't look like this since I was 4 months pregnant. So, I'm challenging myself to spend 45 min. each day doing some kind of exercise. I get so bored with the same routine everyday and I really hate the gym which I'm sure is carried over from the torture that was junior high dodge ball in the school gym.

Today's challenge was to walk my dog for 30min. at a much faster pace than we normally walk. I really wanted to get my heart rate up so that this would my aerobic part of the workout. Then do some pilates/yoga on my mat at home. The walk part went fairly smoothly except that we do live in Florida and it's still very hot and muggy so my little doggie got kind of hot and tired about 10min. into the walk. Me, feeling sorry for her, turned around and came back to the house and ended up with just a 20min. walk. This workout thing is going to be harder than I thought. I have to really focus and not give myself an out...no excuses...just do it, right?

The pilates/yoga part went better. 140 crunches, deep knee bends, some yoga moves I learned from a class and some weird moves I picked up from watching Jack Lalanne over my mom's shoulder. 15 min. later I feel my back is hurting from the weird moves and I'm sure I should stop to keep from further injuring it, so I do. I feel a pattern coming on. I have to keep going if I plan on staying fit through my 50's. Today didn't go so well but this isn't going to be my last fitness challenge. Maybe tennis?

Oct 5- Old friends

I've just recently re-connected with two couples that were my very dear friends from our college years and into our early 20's. You know how it goes...one day you're thick as thieves and the next thing you know, everyone has moved to another city, had babies and started new lives. The one thing that kept us so close in our youth was our lack of responsibility and the wasteful use of money on the weekends. Once those things came to a screeching halt, it was painful to try and get together only to be reminded of what it used to be like before kids and the lack of disposable income. So, we went our separate ways but did our best to stay in touch through occassional phone calls and birthday cards.

Last weekend one of those couples' daughter got married. I wasn't able to get away from work to attend the wedding, but asked to see the photos. Today, they were emailed to me and I was a little nervous to see them. I knew they would be beautiful and elegant but also knew that it would be emotionally difficult to look at the images. Where did all those years go and how did one of us have a daughter old enough to get married? Why do the parents, my peers, look so much older but their daughter look so youthful... as we once did?

I look in the mirror and want to see the same face as when we were in our 20's and sometimes I think I do. But there's nothing like a friends' daughter getting married to slap you in the face of reality....we aren't 20 anymore and it shows! So, even though it did make me tear up to look at the pictures, it was a milestone, because this is a new phase in our collective post college years' lives that I can face without getting sad. The memories of our past are fun to think about but hopefully now that we've re-connected and our kids are gaining their independence, we can make new memories in this next phase of our lives.

Mike, Gail, Dan and Susan...you all looked fantastic!

Oct 4-texting...sort of

I don't know why I've never really wanted to learn how to text. I guess with email and voice mail I didn't feel the need to have one more way to stay connected. How do you choose which way you're going to go? It seems that life has gotten so complicated with all the choices we're given in any given situation that if I could control it by NOT learning something than it seemed that I was keeping things simple. But, it's not that easy.

I was meeting some girlfriends out one night at a place neither of them had been before, but I had. One girl got completely lost and was sending me text messages unbknownst to me. I was happily sitting at the bar sipping on a glass of zinfandel when she walked in and gave me that look where you know you've pissed her off but you don't know what you did. "I've been texting you for the last 30min. while I was driving around in circles passing the same places over and over...why didn't you answer me back?" Ummm, that's a really good question. And, since she is about 13 years younger than me I lied and said my phone had been acting up. Sorry Tracy, but the truth is I've never learned how to text...until today!! Yeah me!!

So, it's not that I'm gliding through the world of texting with the ease of a 17 year old while at the wheel of her mustang. No, it's more like I had to pull over, park in the Target parking lot and spend 10min trying to send a message back to my sister. It was extremely painful and awkward not to mention embarrassing. My cryptic message was like I didn't know what a preposition was or how to make compound words. My 4th grade english teacher would have been horrified.

I'm not going to give up though. I just signed up with my dentist to get text messages to remind me of my next appointment. That's a decent use for this new form of communication. I'll let you know if I find anymore.

Oct 3- Sunshine Skyway

Not all my challenges will be about social networking, although they probably could fill up the month If I wanted to try and be as savvy as any 20 something. But, that's not my end goal. I really wanted to try and conquer a few other fears that have been lurking for awhile like my huge fear of heights. The only panic attack I've ever had was when I was given a hotel room in Atlanta on the 31st floor and the only way up was a glass elevator. Going up was fine, but when I tried to leave my room and return to the lobby I froze, unable to step inside the elevator to go back down. After returning to my room, laying down for an hour and convincing myself that it was the only way out, I made it back down with my suitcase to ask for another room...on a much lower floor.

Anyway, today I challenged myself to drive over the Sunshine Skyway bridge. The bridge is about 1 hour south of our home and it's tall enough for the largest cruise ships to pass under. The worst part of the bridge is that it appears to go straight up like a roller coaster ride. I had rode over it once before but since I wasn't driving I could cover my eyes until we made it across. Obviously that didn't really count so today...I DID IT!!! I drove while Tom (my boyfriend) took pictures and sang along with the radio trying to keep me calm. He of course had a vested interest in my not panicing so he did a good job of sweet talking me through it. Although I was white knuckled the entire way and I didn't stop gripping the wheel until at least 5 miles past the bridge, I made it over and back again. It's not something I need to do on a daily basis, but if family or friends come to visit I won't worry if they want to take a drive to Sarasota because I have conquered the bridge and know I can do it again...unless it's windy...or foggy...or there's wet pavement...or a wreck and I have to stop at the top and sit there while they tow the cars!!! Dear god I'll never do it again.

Oct 2- Embarrassing my daughter

I knew that once I was up and running on Facebook I would have to face the enevitable and tell my daughter that I was officially "on" and yes, I was afraid and slightly embarrassed to tell her. I knew from all her past moaning and groaning about other friends' parents on Facebook that it was implied that it was off limits for me. I'm sure we both had a big laugh at some point about all those other parents trying to act like they're cool too by being "friends" with the friends of their sons and daughters.
I've always lived by the philosophy that what I don't know won't hurt me when it comes to my daughter. I don't really need to see the late night photos taken at the local pub in her college town. And, she doesn't need to be hesitant about what she adds to her facebook page because she thinks that I'm watching it daily and waiting to pull the ole' "hey, I'm paying for these years so you better do more studying and less partying" line on her.
So, Chelsey, if you're reading this (which I doubt) feel free to post away freely because even though I love you with all my heart I will never invite you to be my friend and I promise you it won't hurt my feelings if you don't invite me.
Love always,
Mom

Oct 1 - Facebook

Today's challenge was to conquer my fear of Facebook. I knew that the best way to get the word out to my friends and family about my blog was through Facebook, but remember, my first attempt to join didn't go so well. I ended up deleting my page less than 24 hours after setting it up because I wasn't sure how to block the freaks, geeks, needy, clingy drama queens from my past. I'm not interested in re-connecting with my "classmates" because I'm not sure I'd remember if I liked them or not. Were we friends...did we hang in the same circles...did you ditch me with your mean friends one friday night while you went to the game with the Mitch Taylor? See where I'm going, you could accept a friend only to realize later, after checking them out in your dusty, yellowed yearbook, that you never liked them back then and you certainly don't want to waste your valuable older years on them now. Once discovered, how do you "un-friend or de-friend" them? Is this possible?

Today I have finished my challenge and it hopefully won't come back to bite me in the butt. I joined Facebook again and I tried my best to block that one person...maybe two, that I don't ever want to find me...ever. I managed to post my link to this blog after my 3rd try (the first two I forgot to hit the "share" button and it kept disappearing). And I actually found a few family members that I didn't realize were also on Facebook who are older than me I might add. So, although I assumed that Facebook is something just for the 20 and 30 somethings, it appears that it could end up being relevant to my life too.

It’s hard to say when I first noticed that I was no longer throwing myself at the world but instead shying away and letting it take control of me. I think it’s been somewhat gradual coming on, but definitely since turning 50, I’ve noticed that I haven’t been so gung ho about trying new things. I try to blame it on my hormones or lack thereof, which has caused me to morph from the young, “try anything once” kind of girl to a neurotic little old lady. I’m crankier, my body temperature is hotter, my hair is flatter, my tummy is pouchier and my patience is thinner. I couldn’t have changed myself more if I had woke up and found myself 13 again.

My confidence had left my body along with those hormones and I want to get it back. So, I’m challenging myself to one month of attempting to overcome some of my biggest fears in hopes that I will once again be willing to take on our ever changing world. Please don’t expect me to wrestle an alligator or sky-dive…those are fears of mine, but not something that will help me catch up with the 21st century. I’m talking more about the things that would have been easy for me in my 20’s but impossible for me when I don’t know what Bluetooth is and get overwhelmed trying to find out. I’m barely able to use my cell phone and my computer is a tool for catching up with my family through email. If I did learn how to text, who would I text? I tried to join face book, but less than 24 hours after joining, I had an invite from a very clingy old boyfriend that I’ve spent years trying to throw off my trail. Delete, delete!!

I should try to learn those things, or rather, I will learn those things, but in the pretext of how a 50 year old might use them. So, for the entire month of October (the scary month) I will enter a daily blog about what my challenge was for the day and how it turned out. I hope other women out there who have found themselves in a similar situation when they turned 50 will be able to laugh along as they too try and face their own fears. And in the end, maybe we’ll discover that our generation does have a use for Twitter after all.

Karen